Chapter 3: Magically Delicious

Squin 24
Imp 20
Alterith 18
Rasa/Krytox 15
Animated Chair 14
Philomel 8


Krytox, having grabbed the man, appears back into the living room area. Squin and Philo shout to Krytox as the former moves slightly into the house, just in time for the animated chair to turn around and lumber for him! Atk 12 @ Squin - Miss

The imp curls its wings around itself, shielding its body like a dark cloak. "Mayhaps I extend my welcome..." it hisses as it begins fading from view. Alterith and Rasa each take jabs at it as it disappears. AoOs: Rasa - Miss, Alterith - Hit The greataxe strikes true just as the imp turns invisible, besting its own vile defenses of tough skin and supernatural healing, noisily cutting off its head. The spindly body instantly reappears and falls to the ground, its head bouncing onto the wood flooring.

Alterith collapses to his knees, feeling the poison continue to roil in his blood. He feels the worst may be passed by now, though the world continues to spin a little. Looking up at the wall he finds his axe embedded about an inch into the wood, the handle having somehow fallen from his hands. The imps head remains seated on the upper side of the blade for a moment before tumbling to the floor and bouncing to Rasa's feet. Alterith eyes the body coldly and spits a mouthfull of blood on the creatures body, wiping the residual on his sleeve.

"You ok?" He asks his friend as he delivers another solid kick to the body.

"Best to make sure it doesn't regenerate itself." Alterith grabs his axe handle and yanks it back from the wall. He grabs the imp by one taloned foot and begins to drag the body from the house. Upon entering the main living area his eyes go wide seeing the complete disarray. Not to mention the furniture running by. He steps back as a table gallops by. Seeing the lizard man hauling the man towards squin and the door he calls to him over the tumult of furniture.

"Krytox...the beastie is dead. Per'aps you outta put the man back in the bed where we can tend to him better?" Alterith signs quickly to Rasa to check the other rooms and see if he can locate the wizardess. Assuming this man is her husband.

The furniture scurries about even as Krytox screeches to a halt in the main room. It would make things easier if all our enemies had cushions for weapons... he thinks as the chair runs harmlessly into Squin's legs. It was only when he was yelled at did Krytox realize that the Centaur had been joined by someone new. Is this the wizardess? At about the same time the noise from the back room quieted and Krytox could hear Alterith calling to bring the man back. He just wished everyone would stop yelling at him.

"You Andolyn?" he questions the newcomer. She appeared very unkempt with short-cropped hair. Her general demeanor made it seem more like she had been living outside than in the comfort of this cottage. Krytox didn't try to understand the ways of spell casters, but this one - if she was, in fact, Andolyn - almost came across like she wanted to be a boy. He didn't wait long for a response though, and began to make his way back to the bedroom from which he had just brought the man.

Str (if necessary): 8 + 5 = 13

As Krytox returns the man to the bed Alterith calls to Squin "He is in need of medical attention, is there anything you learned from Mystia that could help?" Knowing that the three killers at this end of the house have crude combat medicine at best. Without waiting for a response he continues to drag the creature towards the door. Unless he is impeded by the furniture or the newcomer...

"Who are you?" he asks guardedly, his axe rising to a more defensive posture. He watches the female for any signs of recognition as he moves the imp through the maze of roving furniture. Imps such as this rarely work on their own. Perhaps she is his summoner, responsible for his existence on this shell. "The Jinam rarely tolerate this kind of interference" he says pointing at the body with his axe.

At that point everything seems to happen at once. Philo climbs the stairs to peer inside the cottage. The sounds of battle from the rear have ceased, though the furniture, of course, is yet putting up a good fight. A halfling has appeared, posture aggressive, greataxe in hand and a headless implike creature dragging in his wake. Several things are shouted at her, nearly simultaneously, and Philo's head starts to spin. Andolyn...The Jinam...Mystia...a beastie...interference... It all whirls through her brain in a mass of confusion.

The centaur is still staring at her with entirely justifiable curiosity, given the vague nature of her previous command. She shakes her head as if to clear it, and decides to address him first.

"I only shouted," she begins, her hand resting warily on her sickle in response to the raised axe, "because according to my readings the house is under enchantment, but I haven't yet determined exactly what sort. A protective spell would make the most sense, though, and when you're unsure it's best not to take anything - or anyone - outside the enchantment threshold, you know, in case..." Philo trails off, hoping they'll catch her meaning.

Apparently neither does, if the continued stoniness of their stares is any indication. "In case the spell takes its retribution," she continues, more nervously. "You know, you try take the protected object out, and it doesn't let you, and, er, disembowelment follows. Or something." Her eyes flick to the imp.

"Are you threatening us with..."

"No!" Philo bursts out before either can take that notion any further. She knows she isn't nearly a match for them, especially with the lizard man and who knows what else backing them up. "No," she repeats, a bit more calmly, "It's not my spell. My name isn't Andolyn, and I haven't the slightest idea who the Jinam are. I'm passing through these woods, and I heard the commotion at the cottage and thought I'd investigate. I don't mean to interfere, I promise."

She gathers herself a bit, and makes a decision. "In fact, you all seem to have this well in hand. I can leave now, if you like. I'll be on my way and won't bother you again." Philo is backing slowly out of the doorway, hoping against all hope that none of them will take it in their minds to follow her, when something catches her eye.

For all the halfling's bravado, he seems a bit worse for wear. In fact, his breath is coming in heavy gasps, and sweat is coursing down his face. "Are you all right?" she asks, stopping on the threshold. Then she remembers something. "What about the man, the one who owns the cottage?" Philo takes a deep breath, and reverses her previous choice. "I might be able to help, if you want. I know some healing spells."

"Wonderful, another blue hand." Alterith gestures behind him at the lizardman and his burden then cuts a passing footstool in two with an offhand motion. "Hrmm...firewood". Weaving quickly through the remaining furniture the halfling drags the body towards the door and past the elf. He moves it away from the house before finishing his dismemberment. With quick, clean slices he removes the arms, legs and tail from the abomination. He begins gathering dry wood from nearby, including the recent footstool and builds a crude pyre. He inserts some small twigs for kindling then removes his flint and steal from one of his pouches. Before lighting it, he checks the imps body quickly for any hidden items then, with a few quick strikes, he commends the imps body back to the abyss from which it came.

The lizardman reaches the back room and lays the man gently down on the bed, making sure to remove any sheets with blood splatter first. Shortly after Krytox hears Alterith mention blue hands and his eyes light up. He had always been amazed by such magic as far back as the tribal shamans from when he was very young - prior to his capture. Maybe I could have had real blue hands he thinks, looking down at his own gloved hands. While there was mostly excitement and wonder beaming from his face, there was a twinge of sadness as the memories of his time, albeit brief, with Mystia come rushing back. He only allowed himself a moment to dwell on such memories before peaking his head around the corner to see back into the main room.

"You have blue hands?" he calls back to the newcomer. What was her name again? Did she even say? I might have been too distracted with the furniture and this man... his mind wanders. Eventually he decides that she had not given a name other than denying she was Andolyn. It seemed logical enough to him, but it still didn't solve the fact that Alterith looked sickly and this man had obviously seen better days.

"Well? Blue hands or not, half-elf," he fills in with his native Draconic, not knowing what to call her.

The small demonic nuisance dispatched along with the rest of the wildly running furniture in the living room area, the group breathes slightly easier - and the house along with them, it seems. The floorboards and walls almost seem to settle slightly. But it could be their imagination - or merely the age of the structure.

"Ah!" The man has woken, and sits up in bed slowly, rubbing his aching ankles and wrists where he was bound. He looks delirious, yet there is the unmistakable glimmer of consciousness in his eyes. He looks up at the group in shock for a moment, before a flush overcomes his near-middle aged features.

"I, er..." he stammers. "I am Gendrew. Thank you for saving me! ... Oh, these?" he gestures to his 'wounds,' upon which the group place their concerned eyes. He wipes them off with a finger... and licks it. "... tomato sauce!" The blush on his cheeks has blossomed fully. Then his eyes turn worrisome.

"You have my gratitude - and will have Andolyn's later as well, when she returns - for rescuing me and the house from that... devilish alien creature! But alas, a greater danger rampages in our pantry, downstairs!

"You see, I... well, I'm not sure if I should be telling you folks, but you DID rescue me after all... I was commissioned by the Kingdom to create a new recipe for our fair Princess Somi's aft-doufore novem ("sweet sixteenth")... a celebration that will be most legendary! With my wonderful wife and I settling down, we thought to combine our culinary and arcane talents in a fashion most unheard of! We were sure to win with this creation... a living calzone that could cook and serve itself!

As Gendrew continues his explanation as members of the group tend to his needs, it dawns on them that this calzone golem - a mass of dough with spiced sauces for blood, animated by a fire elemental from within - is running amok... downstairs.

The centaur just stands there trying not to be rude, but with an obvious look that just screams half confusion and half stupefied. Still not sure what is going on with the furniture, the demonic creature the halfling dragged out and hacked, and who exactly is this half-elf (though the half-elf has demonstrated to be helpful and friendly - so far), Squin stammers, "so how exactly do you want us to handle this calzone creature thingy?" Asking in general, "so how do we proceed to take care of this calzone creature? What do you suppose its strength and weaknesses are?"

Alterith, having returned from his imp barbecue listens to the man's tale. Then he looks the man in the eye, seeking a reaction to his next question.

"And why would the Marmo empire be interested in what you were doing here? And why were you covered in a condiment?" Something about this doesn't sit well with the halfling, and its not the spices downstairs.

"As to the calzone incursion in the basement, we could always eat our way out of the trouble."

more people? seriously... how many more people could Alterith's little band get? Maybe she does have healing powers, but she'd probably just get in the way and end up like the last one. Who knows, maybe they'll go on a healer a week spree!

Rasa snickers at his own joke, but doesn't make any mention to the rest of the party. He knows full well at this point that they just don't have the humor to appreciate jokes like that. He and his allies joked about death all the time. These people apparently have some weird sort of bond between each other.... it's really just another weakness that Rasa is quite glad he didn't have.

Rasa continues to half listen to the conversation, and half think about what the next healer will look like...

Getting bored with the conversation, Rasa leaves to thoroughly search the house for any other people, treasures, and most importantly, the two daggers he threw. Search: 15 + 8 = 23. Upon finishing, he takes that which was important.

Gendrew looks hopeful. "I sure hope you folks can help me with my... mistake!" He looks troubled for a moment. "It wasn't supposed to have turned out the way it did... it's much bigger than I had planned for, and beyond control..."

He goes on to explain that he really doesn't know why the Marmo Empire would be seeking him out. He used to work as a chef for royalty, but has been retired for while, seeking to pursue his own culinary interests, taking independent work. To the group, Gendrew is just an exceptional chef and baker who got tangled up in somebody else's business. The sauce stains were from his cooking gone out of control, he explains.

Rasa prepares to sneak throughout the house. He crosses the hallway into the bare room across from the bedroom. There is a bookshelf and a chair, and other than that, the floors and walls of this windowless room are made of stone, cool to the touch. Heading back into the living room, past the smashed and broken furniture, the curtains suddenly spring into action, seeking to wrap themselves around the dracen's neck. Quick swipes of blades silence them. Such is the price Gendrew and his mate will have to pay for having inconvenienced him with such troubles.

The doorway near the other end of the living room area leads into an adjoining dining room, with a set table featuring nice-looking silverware and a candelabra, which in turn features a doorway leading to a small kitchen area, full of kitchen supplies, a sink, wooden counter top, and stove/oven in one corner. Next to the stove/oven is what looks like a trapdoor, though it has several heavy sacks and boxes thrown on top of it at the moment.

Something in the kitchen catches Rasa's eye...

"That creature burning in your front yard claimed that it was a member of Marmo empire and was here seeking the Jinam's weapon. Is there anything you can tell us to enlighten us as to this attack?" Alterith continues along with the bullheadedness only a barbarian can muster.

Krytox understood the general idea of a golem, but making one made of food was confusing to him. What possible purpose could it serve? Certainly a golem wouldn't want to be eaten and what else is food good for? He sat mostly in silence, listening to the questions and answer, all the while puzzling through the possible motives of this cook and his wife. Speaking of his wife - where was she? Krytox peeks back into the main room to see where Rasa had wandered off to, only to catch a glimpse of the curtains reach out to attempt to strangle him. The Dracen was too quick though, and all that remained were some shredded drapes. A new question now popped into his head and he blurted it out without taking care to see if anyone else was talking.

"Why chairs... and others attack? Can make them stop?" directing the question at Gendrew. If this was his doing, then it should be easy enough, and Krytox did feel a little bad about smashing their belongings. The animated furniture at this point was nothing more than a nuisance, but he could see that anything getting in their way would be smashed. Unfortunately for Andolyn and Gendrew this adventuring party wasn't very sophisticated...

Gendrew's brow furrows in thought for a moment. "No, I don't really know much about them," he says at last. "All I do know about them is that the Marmo Empire is a kingdom of demons and beasts of men that do war against the other nations on Impetus. Just like the Jinam Protectorate and the Nation of Ankara. In fact, the latter two often come up-Shell to Miderth for business, trading, and recruitment. But common person in this land would know, so I take it you folk are not from around here. After all," he adds, looking at the group, "now that I think about it... you all look to be from another land entirely..." Shrugging, he continues.

"But yes, I'm afraid I don't know much more than that, and really, only high-ranking officials, nobility, and maybe even merchants or high-profile mercenaries would have any detailed knowledge about the identity, much less the affairs, of these Warring Nations on Impetus. That devilish little creature that sought to torture me even demanded to know what had happened to something called 'dermomaxia'... but I've never heard of it, much less have any idea what it is!" Gendrew throws his hands up helplessly. "I...


"I seem to have been implicated in something far bigger... than my quiet and peaceful life here. Andolyn used to be an adventurer, and," he adds, with a quick swell of pride, "a damned fine mage. Not to mention, a damned fine woman." He resists the urge to wink roguishly at Philomel. "I just... well. I just hope this isn't some old-time rivalry or grudge resurfacing from her adventuring days... and you folks seem to be headed in her previous direction as far as career is concerned." He smiles and shakes his head, resting now that he's spoken so much.

"Don't worry about the things in the house," he says after a while longer, as he sits on his bed and the group - minus Rasa - continues to listen. "Andolyn's experiments. They are supposed to guard our home from unwelcome intruders, and are set to engage anybody we - or they - aren't familiar with.

"But, with that given the case... why wouldn't they have tried to stop the creature? They didn't seem to react to it..." Gendrew begins to look troubled. He turns to the group.

"Would any of you know why? Have you ever encountered this situation... perhaps from any of your adventuring exploits?"

RaSa grins back at the flaming eyes before him. that must be the thing that the man was talking about he thinks to himself. He didn't really want to engage anything he wasn't ready for, nonetheless didn't understand. If only he could instill that tactic into Alterith... He was pretty sure that the monster wouldn't like his frost gauntlet too much, but having the party to help out if he was attacked was definitely preferable. Time to go upstairs and determine the course of action. He causually walks towards the stairs, making sure not to take his eyes off the creature for an instant.

Philo quickly perceives that her healing abilities won't be needed, after all. It's just as well, she thinks, knowing that her modest skill would be little match for a wound of a serious nature. Watching the halfling set fire to his dispatched imp, she weighs her options. She can leave, she knows, now that the fighting has ceased and the crazed furniture has calmed, but her curiosity seems to be winning the war against her better judgment. The adventurers intrigue her - what was it that they said...something about blue hands? Philo knows it was to her they were referring, because the lizard man called her "half-elf." She idly realizes that this is the first time she's heard Draconic spoken in the vernacular, rather than the heavily accented, dry academic tones of her mother's language lessons.

And then there's the whole matter of the enchantment on the cottage - something about it still feels a bit off. Philo sets her shoulders and follows the halfling into the bedroom. They've all gathered around the bed, the lizard man, the centaur, and another of the band, an elf of some sort. His eyes flick toward her ironically. She tries not to bristle in response, remembering her mother's warning about the snobbish attitudes of some elves toward half-elves. But why should I listen to her? Philo thinks. She was always trying to prejudice me against them...

Her thoughts are distracted as the owner of the cottage - Gendrew - begins to speak. He looks a little worse for wear, but quite healthy, considering. She listens to his explanation with increasing confusion. So Gendrew is a chef, which certainly explains all the odd scents constantly emanating from the cottage, and his wife, Andolyn, a mage, and a powerful one at that, to have created any sort of golem, calzone or otherwise. Philo wonders a bit at her judgment, however, knowing of golems' notorious unpredictability.

The elf heads out of the room as the others begin to question Gendrew. It all sounds very political to Philo, whose prior forest village existence had been relatively free of that sort of entanglement.

The conversation in the room hits a lull, and Philo glances around at the others as she tries to pick up its thread. "Wait," she begins, "you mean the protective enchantments on the furniture didn't react to the winged creature at all? How very strange..." She thinks for a moment. "Is it possible that the spells could have been tampered with? Something subtle, so you wouldn't notice...perhaps something that may have even affected the outcome of your, er, calzone creation?"

Alterith reaches into a pouch on his belt and pulls forth a large ruby pendant on a necklace.

"Something you'd recognize I'm sure? Your wife's if I don't miss my guess?"

Alterith watches Gendrew's eyes. Something about this whole situation seems like a set-up of some sort...maybe Rasa will be able to explain it to him later, Alterith is always more comfortable when he can sink his axe into something. That calzone is seeming more and more tempting to the halfling. All this thinking is starting to wear on him and intrigue has never been his strong point.

"Well, calzone got your tongue?"

Krytox starts to grow weary of listening to the questions and answers. His mind begins to wander like a young Blackscale during what little schooling they received. Having never heard of a calzone before, he starts imagining what it might be like. There were so many types of foods, though this one sounded like it was more plant than meat. Despite that, a low rumble began in his stomach and rumbled its way around his torso. I could really go for a sheep flank right now... so easy to eat right off the bone... His eyes glaze over as he retreats mentally into his own food filled fantasy world.

Eventually something shiny catches his eye, pulling him back to reality. Alterith had just pulled some jewel from his pouch and was saying it was Andolyn's! The lizardman was well versed in battle, and even through his simple-mindedness he was able to see Alterith laying out the ground work for some intense verbal sparring. He wasn't sure what the halfling was talking about, nor where he planned on going with this, but his interest in finding out outweighed, if only slightly, his desire to eat whatever this calzone creature was.

Gendrew's eyes widen with sudden shock upon seeing the pendant. "... e-... how-.... w-... w-....!!!" A quiet but shocking curse flies from his mouth as his lips twitch and color comes to his cheeks.

"H- how did you get.. that's... hers..." Realization dawns on Gendrew as he peers more closely, his quivering pupils resting on some of the remaining... gunk resting on parts of the pendant. "Y- you found it... on... that creature... n-... n-... no wonder!" There is a mixture of shock, fear, and even rage in the man.

The group gives him a few moments to calm himself. When his breathing has returned to normal, Gendrew explains, "Yes, it is hers. It is a special pendant that wouldn't fetch a meal's worth of coin on the market, but that's the point. It allows whoever wears it to come and go from this house without issue. So that's how..." The color returns to his face, and for a moment the group fears Gendrew might fly into a rage rivaling that of Alterith's alter ego.

However, the man doesn't. He calms himself down again. "I don't know how this creature got his item. I saw it as it was torturing me. It wasn't anywhere visible on its body. Did you find it..." he gulps, "from inside it?" After a few more moments, he continues by explaining that Andolyn made several of these, to give to certain friends and family. The fact that the imp had one wasn't enough to imply that Andolyn herself was in any danger. But again, how the creature had one was another matter entirely.

Then, the house shudders again, ever so slightly. Gendrew looks up, head turning around, seeming to peer at the ceiling and walls above them. "It's preparing," he murmurs, "to attack you again." He scampers off the bed and goes into the closet. A few moments later, he comes back out with some more pendants.

"I don't know where your other mean-looking friend went off to... but you'd better put these on." He hands them each one, plus one extra for Rasa.

"The attacks will intensify each time. I don't know exactly what my clever wife has planned, but all I got when I asked her how much of the house was animated was a mischievous wink and a seductive smile. And er," he stammers, "that pretty much concluded that part of our conversation at that time... yeah..."

Alterith slips the pendant around his neck, finally feeling he has as much of an answer as he needs.

"So, why won't the house turn against the calzone monster in your basement? Did you bake a necklace into it?"

His conversation doesn't distract him from taking the proffered extra pendant for his friend. He begins walking out of the room obviously expecting others to follow as he seeks the dracen.

The lizardman looks on with seemingly a dumb look on his face. Sometimes spoken Common was too quick for him to really grasp what was being said. In those situations he would usually just smile or nod to buy more time so he could make sense of everything going on. This was one of those cases. Only when Alterith had placed the pendant around his neck did Krytox realize what was happening. It sounded to him like Andolyn had turned these spells against them and had allowed the imp to move about freely in the house. Of course, it could also be possible that the imp had something to do with Andolyn's current absence and the presence of the uncooperative calzone.

The blackscale takes a pendant as they are passed out and stretches it to get around his thick neck. He wasn't used to jewelry, and the cool back of the necklace felt very strange on his scales. Despite that, he was thankful that he would no longer have to smash any furniture that would have otherwise tried to attack him. He follows the others as they head toward the kitchen and their elven companion.

"Can get golem now?" he asks, almost pleadingly as his stomach growls. After all, they hadn't yet gotten a midday meal.

A sort of charm to provide immunity from the protective enchantments, muses Philo, That seems straightforward enough, although clearly has its drawbacks as a security system... She takes the pendant from Gendrew and holds it up thoughtfully. Her naivete, though in some realms of behavior considerable, does not extend to putting on strange charms without examining them. All appears to check out in her inspection, however, so hesitantly she clasps the pendant around her neck, wondering exactly what she has gotten herself into.

Though everyone else is heading toward the door, clearly itching for action, Philo is more of a plan first, act later type of druid. She pauses, and then turns to Gendrew. "What exactly do you want done with the golem?" she asks. "That is to say...do you want it--well--salvaged, for the birthday celebration? Have you time to concoct something else? Or is it perhaps...er...beyond salvaging?"

"Oh, we'll salvage it, won't we Krytox?" He says with a knowing look at the blackscale warrior.

"I'm sure it will taste just wonderful all the way down." He licks his chops as he contemplates the feast. "Maybe I'll get to test out my new bite attack." He begins laughing at his own joke, then looks at Krytox's mouth with a contemplative air.

ooc: No post Saturday - will be gone all day! Might resume Sunday depending on posts between now and then. Have a great weekend everyone!

At the questions and comments directed at him, Gendrew shrugs helplessly. There were some things, after all, not even a mage's husband could understand about the arcane. What he does tell the group, however, is that Andolyn did not put animated objects in the kitchen area.

The group goes back up to the living room (12 o-clock), and near the northeast doorway to the dining area, encounter Rasa tucking away some nice-looking silverware (1-2 o'clock). With the kitchen being at about the 3-o'clock position (and the bedroom at around the 4-5-o'clock), the group re-gathers. They glance into the kitchen, and see what the dracen might have already: In one of the corners, peering out from between the metal grating of the oven hatch, are a pair of flaming eyes resting atop a smoldering pile of embers. It stares at them impassively, neither passive nor aggressive. But with the nature of fire... one never really knew.

No doubt another one of Andolyn's home-made implements to aid Gendrew's oven baking and stove-top cooking. The group cannot tell if the hatch is locked, but given that it's an oven... probably not.

Next to the stove, near the opposite corner on the other side of the kitchen, is a trapdoor in the floor on which several boxes and crates are piled. The rest of the fixtures in the kitchen - wooden countertops, primitive sink, shelves of spices and various ingredients - seem normal.

ooc: Eveyrone who has gone to the kitchen to check things out... make Listen checks.