Chapter 3: Magically Delicious

RaSa cringes at odor, but tries his best to press on. What didn't kill him made him stronger, and what was in front of him was surely not going to be the thing to deliver him the final blow. Rasa Staggers for a brief second, and goes right in for another attack..... he hopes it will be the last he'll need

Fort: 16 + 1 = 17

Attack: 13 (+2 flanking?) = 13 (15)

Damage: 1 + 6 Ice damage

As Squin tries to shake off the sauces that splattered him, the lizardman pushes by him. A doughy mallet of a hand comes down swinging at the centaur. Trying to scramble back, Squin prays that this hit won't hit or hurt too much. At the last moment, the arm changes directions to follow the lizardman. The slowed monster's swing was too slow to catch the rushing lizardman.

Before the centaur thinks of the next action, he is suddenly engulfed by huge cloud of emanating from the creature. Coughing, hacking Squin tries to find some clean air to breath. Desperately, he waves his arms frantically trying to clear the air about him a bit.

Fortitude: 19 + 2 = 21

Krytox cringes, expecting to be seared by boiling sauces again, but to his surprise nothing happens. As the morningstar tears through the doughy flesh, the air is suddenly filled with a cloud of something that burst forth from golem. The lizardman quickly takes a breath, trying to avoid filling his lungs with the tainted air. Normally he was able to hold his breath for significant periods of time while underwater, but he wasn't used to just holding his breath for kicks. He could only try now, fearing this was some sort of defense mechanism. His eyes watered heavily, but he had to keep them open or face the prospect of fighting blind. He ducks through the fumes, bursting forth to strike yet again, all the while focusing on not breathing.

Fort: 11 + 5 = 16
Attack: 7 + 7 + 1(wpn) + 2(flank) = 17
Damage: 1 + 5 + 1 = 7

ooc: I think I can hold my breath Con x 4 rounds underwater, does that apply now as well?

A cloud emanates from the golem and engulfs the others. I've been next to useless in this fight so far, Philo thinks, but at least I can see. She launches another one of her darts. This time the motion is more fluid, and the dart sails true. She has little time to celebrate her probable success, however, as the cloud fades slightly and the halfling staggers into her line of sight, coughing and sputtering.

Attack 20 + 10 +2 = 32
Attack (crit) 14 + 2 = 16
Damage 4 + 0 = 4
Damage (crit) 3 + 0 = 3

ooc: Krytox does not get a flanking bonus in this current formation, but here it ended up not making a difference.

The living energies within the calzone explode outward with a violent gushing of hot air and red pasta sauce as the golem collapses on itself and slumps heavily to the ground. Bloodlust looks down at his axe, covered in delicious meats, cheeses, and spices, even as more sauce boils over the group's skin from the death throes of the creature.

1 fire dmg @ Alterith, Rasa, Krytox, Squin

Even as a feeling of relief floods over them, and the basement is suddenly quiet, they are immediately aware of the mess that surrounds them - broken shelves and barrels, spilled ingredients all over the ground, and now a hulking mound of calzone bread, cheese and meat lying in the center of the pantry.

Slowly, the urge to vomit passes from the group, as they look at each other wondering just what forces have given birth to this strange new creature.

Bloodlust's rage passes quickly as he gazes dumbly at the sauces on his axe. He suddenly smiles, blows on his axe to cool the juices and takes a bite.

"Mmmm, thats a good meal for sure," he says, grinning at the group. Their looks of disgust hardly faze the barbarian, he's eaten far worse in his travels. He looks at the chef at the top of the stairs.

"My complements sir, though next time I would put in a little less hot sauce. This batch was a little overly rambunctious." He lets out a harsh laugh that is followed by a coughing fit and a gout of blood. He slumps against a pillar in the cellar, the damage done by the golumn finally showing through his bravado as the adrenaline fades from his blood.

"Looks like I'll survive to eat again." His laugh this time is much shorter, and followed by a longer series of coughs.

Krytox adrenaline subsides quickly, but still has a few moments in the usual post-battle euphoric state. It is always a relief to be the victor, but since meeting up with the rest of this assorted crew, it seemed like the challenges the faced was increasing in difficulty. That isn't even mentioning the oddities - false lighthouses, dinosaur riding orcs and now food-golems. The lizardman looks around the room, checking on the damage to their surroundings as well as the damage to his friends. As usual, it seemed like Alterith had taken the brunt of the attack. Krytox does a double-take, realizing that it is Alterith again and not still Bloodlust. This was an even bigger relief because facing against the raging halfling was just as scary a though as fighting another of these calzone monsters.

"Job done," Krytox says simply to the others. He notices Alterith filling his stomach and decides to follow suit. Hopefully this thing has some meat and not just nasty boiling sauces. Krytox begins picking the bits of dough from the morningstar and tossing them idly to the ground. It wasn't his work to clean up the mess after all, just apparently to make it...

Rasa strolls into the upstairs area with the rest of them. Mages...... mages and their silly toys. They always cause so many problems. The world would be so much simpler if they just didn't screw everything up. One of these days, he might make a point at killing as many mages as he can, if not mostly to rid the world of such a nusance. Anyway, He wonders how much longer he'll have to put up with the ridiculousness until he'd be able to go on another real quest.

The dust cloud dissipates, and so does the centaur's coughing. He looks around at the carnage, though he supposes it could have been worse. Seeing the halfling and the blackscale dig in, the centaur tentatively tries a little bit. Squin grabs a small chunk, dips it into one of the splattered sauces all around him, and carefully takes a small bite after ensuring that the sauce has cool down sufficiently. As he watches the elf wander back up the stairs, he starts wondering if this creature had cooked itself like it was supposed to, or did it refuse to and thus caused the problem. After a moment, Squin shrugs as while it would have been nice to know, it was not that important of a point. Or at least to him it wasn't.

Having stuffed his face to his content, the lizardman wipes his scaly arm across his mouth clearing away most of the red sauce. It wasn't the best thing he'd ever eaten, but it would probably be the tastiest golem. He looks up to see a slightly disgusted, though curious, half-elf staring at the three of them still in the basement. She straightens herself and regains her composure, but all she gets is a smirk in return. The lizardman makes his way past her and up the stairs to see what trouble Rasa was getting himself into.

Rasa leaves the hot gooey mess and makes his way back up to Gendrew. Muttering a few curses, he stealthfully makes his way up the stairs while brushing off some of the sauce that still remained on his clothing and skin. He was really glad that this opportunity had turned out to be more than just a babysitting job, but something bothered him. The note specifically said that they were to help out Gendrew and his wife. Rasa had not seen this woman at all yet. Maybe he missed something in the earlier conversation? Knowing full well that the lizard would be to hard to understand, the centaur would probably just be confused, and the halfing would be too busy stuffing his little face, Rasa goes straight to the source.

Entering the room, he makes a slight bow towards Gendrew. "Good day Gendrew, I am Rasa. Leland asked us to not only come to make sure of you and your wife's safety, but help you in any way we can. While I can see that we've achieved your safety, I'm curious as to where your wife is. I need to make sure both of you are safe to get the job done." Rasa waits impatiently for the answer, and for his allies to join him.

In the living room area, Gendrew, sitting on one of the couches with his shoulder slouched over, straightens up at Rasa's approach and inquiry. "Thank you," he replies to the dracen. "Things are quite alright now. Ah, yes, my wife has been away in the last several days, on a trip to the Capital (Somi-Siegard). I was really worried about this situation, because she isn't due back for another few days. I'm glad Leland-Sir had the foresight to send your group to me. He's a good friend... it seems he's always been watching out for me."

Gendrew stands up slowly, closing a book that he had been holding in his hands. Rasa at once notices that it is not written in a language he recognizes. "Oh, this?" Gendrew asks, gesturing to the front cover of his book. "This is a cooking book written in the language of an ancient order of druids, who were also masterful chefs. Highly respected! Anyways, with the help of this book and the ingredients it describes, I think I've indirectly found out the answer to why I was attacked... and why my creation turned out the way it, er, did."

ooc: Oops, out of time for today. Don't you just love cliffhangers?!

Philo shudders, still trying to remove the sight of her companions eating the exploded remains of the golem from her head as she heads back upstairs and into the living room. It had been a curious creature, and she still wonders exactly how - especially at the hands of such an expert chef - it could have gone so wrong, so she is glad to hear Gendrew return to the subject. "A druid cookbook?" she repeats, catching the tail end of the conversation. "What does it say?"

Gendrew eyes the boyish Philo with a gleam in his eye. "Ah yes," he says, "our fellow neighbor and denizen of the woods! Of course you would be interested, assuming my estimations of your background are correct.

"One thing that struck me throughout this ordeal was the fact that the little impish creature that surprised me in my own home, restrained me, and started trying to terrorize me" - here Gendrew slightly puffs out his chest in denial of the cowardice he displayed earlier - "was demanding to know the location of a heretofore unknown substance it called dermomaxia.

"Well, the Common roots of this strange-sounding word apparently refer to it being a growth hormone of sorts. According to my book, some of the root ingredients I used in my latest recipe for this living calzone would have reacted to certain agents in ways that produced the berserk behavior in my delightful delicious concoction. Something like dermomaxia would probably contain such agents in its own composition..."

Gendrew looks puzzled. "But how would it have made its way into my ingredients? What I can provide for myself, I have grown around here in my gardens, and what I cannot, I've just gone to the local towns... And how would that ugly creature have known about this? Oh, I do hope Andolyn can help us understand what is going on when she returns... meanwhile, why don't you all stay for an early supper? I'll make things the likes of which you may have never tasted before!"

Excited, he rushes out of the room, the ordeals of these past events seemingly forgotten. In the living room, he jumps, slightly startled.

"Where... did all the silverware go?"

Watching everyone leave, Alterith realizes it is up to him to tend to his own injuries. Well, the ribs should heal in time...he doesn't think they are broken, but he can't be sure. The blood he keeps coughing up is surely a bad sign. However, the calzone is delightful and takes some of the edge off the pain. Perhaps Gendrew baked a healing potion into the calzone, for Alterith certainly feels better. Of course, this kind of activity on an empty stomach could also have been contributing to his ill feeling. Grunting through the pain he has his fill of calzone before gathering his axe and trudging up the stairs. Those remaining in the cellar can see the pain written across his face, though he doesn't ask for help or show any other signs than the grunts and grimace. Reaching the kitchen he looks around and hears movement coming from the living room. He moves in that direction.

"You wouldn't happen to have any salves for burns would you? I'm sure a chef of your talent doesn't make mistakes that leave you looking like me, but hopefully between you and your wife you would have something?"

Krytox gets about halfway up the stairs and realizes that despite his appetite, Alterith is in pretty bad shape. The lizardman makes his way back down and hefts the much smaller man to bring him upstairs to see Gendrew. Alterith had a way with words that still escaped Krytox, so he figures it couldn't hurt to bring the halfling along. All the protests from the halfling seem to be only halfhearted, so Krytox doesn't think twice about his actions.

Arriving in the main room, he almost drops his friend as Gendrew comes tearing around the corner towards the kitchen. Rasa and Philo are in hot pursuit as the group reconvenes. Gendrew seems hell bent on cooking something else, but looks befuddled and mumbles something about missing silverware. Rasa conceals his look of guilt extremely well, but Krytox knew better by this point. He gingerly sets the halfling down while Squin makes his way back up the stairs.

"Well? You explain now?"

Gendrew looks around, mystified.

"The silverware was here on the table..." and, more to himself than any of the group, "how will I serve my guests without it...?" He shakes his head. "This won't do." Alterith's inquiry almost falls on deaf ears, but the retired chef hears the halfling's request.

"Ah," says Gendrew, "yes, I believe Andolyn kept some healing salve around. Let me go find you some. Meanwhile, can you all locate my silverware? I've almost always kept them ready to use here at the dining table, but perhaps in today's chaos, they've been misplaced somewhere..."

Unsure if Krytox's question is meant for him, Gendrew pulls out the large, deep-colored wooden chairs at the dining table, gesturing for the adventurers to take a seat if they wish, or help him find his silverware. He then dashes back through the living room, toward the bedchambers.

Rasa looks Krytox right in the eye and says: "I don't know what you're talking about. There is nothing to explain. What I would suspect is that the Imp moved them around before he began his torture of Gendrew. Those fiends love to play dirty tricks and hide important things places to make others lives miserable. So what would make most sense, is that you help us find the silverware instead of pointing fingers and making accusations." Bluff: 10 + 4 = 14 "Oh, and Gendrew.... I would appreciate a salve as well. The burning fire of that monster affects my sensitive skin more than the average one."

Rasa turns away hoping that he adequately convinced the brute of his innocence and starts "looking" for the silverware. When he is sure that nobody in the party is looking for them, he "finds" them under a small couch, and announces their location to the group. Even though he doesn't show it, he's annoyed he has to give away his new found treasure, but at least he'll get a meal out of it. Sleight of hand the silverware into the revealed "hiding place" : 8 + 7 = 15

The excitement and adrenaline faded, Alterith slumps into a chair and stares blankly at a wall waiting for the salve. The pain of the burns begins to seep through his haze and it's all he can do to keep from crying. As he wipes the burning grease off his arm he is sure that it is his skin under all that sauce sloughing off. He hears his friends talking about missing silverware, and doesn't really grasp the problem. He pulls a large eating dagger out of its sheath at his belt and sets it on the table in front of him. What more do you need to eat with? "Civilized" folk seem to waste so much time with pointless exercises in futility. Ah well, to each their own. His eyes shut momentarily as his mind drifts back to the planes of hell. The ash clouds from the erupting volcanoes, as well as the numerous shells above leading to a near perpetual night. Food was hard to come by, and a fire would surely give away your position to the enemy. That meat that was edible you carved and ate. Who had time for a fork and spoon? Often the blood of your enemy flavored your meal. He is brought back to the present with the return of Gendrew with the salve and Rasa with the silverware.

Back with everyone else, Squin just listens in to the conversation going on. Somewhere in his mind, something funny was going on with Krytox's question and Rasa's response and actions. Unfortunately, the centaur is unable to connect the dots together. Giving up, the centaur hopes it wasn't something important. They were promised some real food and the silverware was found, and healing salve was being sought out. Squin turns a chair sideways and "sits" on the chair.

Gendrew returns and produces a box of potions, handing a salve to each of them.

ooc: You each get a healing salve, which confers the benefits of a cure light wounds potion (1d8+2), or keep. The rest of the box contains potions of: bull’s strength, cat’s grace, cure moderate wounds, endure elements (fire), jump, and vision.

Somehow, in the span of less than an hour, Gendrew manages to whip together a superb meal! The main courses are meaty and thick, just the stuff the adventurers need. The appetizers are hearty soups and zesty hand-helped delights, and the desserts are simple but sweet and smooth. It is apparent to the group that Gendrew has employed magical means to assist him during his buzzing around the kitchen area.

As the meal dies down, and the adventurers' bellies bulge satisfyingly, a slight breeze enters into the dining room area. Gendrew jumps up and rushes into the living room and shouts with relief. A woman's voice can be heard, shocked, but then relieved as well.

Gendrew returns to the dining area, accompanied by a woman of slender complexion approaching her middle years, dressed in a simple traveler's robe line with multitudes of pouches, with a worn leather bag slung over her shoulder. "Friends," he beams, "meet my wife, Andolyn." The mage takes off her witch-like traveling hat and curtsies. "I am Andolyn. Pleased to meet you all..."

Alterith immediately utilizes the healing salve, marveling at the curative properties. The blisters on his skin begin to subside before his eyes and a cool breeze washes across his skin. It is only after Gendrew leaps up and heads into the other room that he realizes it wasn't the salve creating the breeze. He can still feel the bruises on his ribs, and his skin is still quite raw to the touch, but he is no longer in any danger of death. The meal sits heavily in his stomach, and it is all he can do to stifle a yawn as Andolyn enters the room. His eyes snap open when he sees her. She has a strange familiarity to the halfling that he is completely unable to place. This face does not sit well with him, though he keeps his thoughts to himself.

"Pleased to meet'ee ma'am. Per'aps in the future ye might keep an eye on yer husbands magical meals." The smile on his face is intended to take some of the sting from the words, though the comment is truthful as well.

Cure Light Wounds: +2

Random number (1,8) :

4

Philo is glad when Gendrew brings the healing salve. She knows she could have attempted to heal the halfling - that she should have, really, and in fact had offered before, with the imp - but after seeing him fight...she has to admit she'd been more than a little unnerved by such a crazed frenzy, seemingly unwarranted as it was. What kind of band has she allied herself with? She feels a little guilty, though, for her hesitation, and resolves to offer her assistance if needed in the future.

Presently Philo's thoughts are interrupted as their number increases by one. The woman Philo has seen about the cottage - Andolyn - enters the dining area. Her gaze is clear and rather knowing, and Philo abruptly realizes that she is sitting with her legs crossed. Goodness, she thinks, slouching in what she hopes is a more masculine manner, I am a total disaster at disguise.

The abrupt actions of Gendrew puzzle the lizardman. His mind didn't work as fast, nor as chaotically, as the cook, but the taste of the food soon made him forget all about the madness about the house. Krytox had always been a meat and potatoes kind of lizard, minus the potatoes of course. This new food gave him a sense of appreciation for all the spices and flavors he had been missing. Despite having more than a few mouthfuls of golem, he made room for everything that Gendrew put in front of him.

About halfway through the pile of food on his plate there was another interruption, though this time it seemed like a good thing. Even from the other room, Krytox could hear Gendrew's relief. He got up from the table, looking forlornly at the remaining food, but thought it best to see what was happening now. He came around the corner from the kitchen to the main room just as a woman introduced herself. So this is Andolyn. I'm not sure if that really clears anything up... but at least she's safe. That sure is a funny hat... his shoulders jumping slightly as he laughs to himself.

The centaur state of contented relaxation after the hearty meal was interrupted by the host suddenly jumping up and running over to the other room. Looking around at the others, Squin is not sure to follow or what. He soon hears shouts of relief and decides to stay "seated" for now.

After Andolyn is introduced, Squin bows his head back in acknowledgment and replies, "I am Squin, pleased to meet you." Gesturing towards the others "we came upon the your house and sensed something was not right. We ended up helping out your husband and he treated us to this fabulous meal." The centaur sneaks a peak around at the others unsure of how much to say and what else to say.